.

6/100

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 23:24:54 GMT

Title: and these are the reasons i love you
Fandom: Backstreet Boys
Characters: Nick Carter and Brian Littrell
Prompt: 094 Independence
Word Count: 817
Rating: G
Author's Notes: Chugging along. Kind of wish I had a beta for this one, strangely...I feel like something worthy could've happened. Not to worry, though. There's always the next fic.

The room’s dark, but for the glow of the computer screen. You’re at the foot of the bed, biting your lip absently, eyes moving across the screen. I don’t know what you’re reading, but I’d bet money you’d be happier off not knowing. You never could resist getting tangled where you shouldn’t, though. Like a puppy nosing at a porcupine, you’ve done it before and you know better, but you can’t help yourself.

There’s a teasing worry, sometimes, in the back of my mind, that we didn’t do right by you. That we could’ve done better. But we were all just boys, and really, what more could we have done? We raised each other, and so were too close already, blood and sweat and semen and tears mixing into this creation that took over our lives. Too close. You knew the sour taste of my breath when I woke up in the morning. I knew the strips of linen, sticky with wax and Howie’s curling hairs. Kevin heard AJ’s climax the night he lost his virginity. Too many things we had to share, so when we saw a chance to put some distance between us, we took it. For me and Kevin and Howie, that was alright. We were people before we were Backstreet Boys, and this was simply lifting our head above the waves. But for you and AJ—I won’t say it broke you, because it didn’t. But it left you stripped and vulnerable. You know it, I think. There’s a handicap you bear because of us, and I suspect there’s a part of you that can’t forgive us. But you need us, need this, and to say goodbye would take more strength than you have.

You sigh, softly, and notice my gaze. You arch an eyebrow and shut your laptop. We’re still for a moment, waiting for eyes to adjust to the dark.

“Come up here,” I say.

“Gimme a minute,” you answer, and get up to set your computer on the nightstand. You crawl up next to me, lying down heavily, and I remember the old shock of seeing how much you’d grown. The last time I’d felt it was realizing how long Baylee was, lying on his cot.

There’s a knock at the door, and you sigh again, this time with annoyance.

“I’ll get it,” I say, and go open the door to find Howie.

“Hey,” he says, and peers into the dark room. “Is Nick here? I wanted to talk to him about—“

“I’m here, Howie,” you call out. “Come in. I don’t wanna move.”

Howie snorts, and after a quick questioning look at me, to which I nod, he comes in and heads to the bed. He sits on it cross-legged, and talks quietly to you about something involving Q. I stretch out, listening but not registering, and float on the sound.

There’s another knock at the door, and you laugh, short and abrupt. “10 bucks says it’s AJ,” you say, but neither of us take you up on it because we know it’s true. “I’ll get it,” you add, and the only reason you volunteered was so you could shove Howie with your feet as you swung them over the edge of the bed. “Hey AJ,” you say as you open the door, and wave him in.

AJ pauses a bit in the doorway, before shrugging and coming in. I feel a twinge of concern. His eyes look tired and he seems quieter than usual, and I wonder if he was hoping to speak with me privately.

Howie’s taken your spot, and you let out a hmmph of dismay before settling at the foot of the bed. AJ sits beside me, gingerly, and I lay a hand on his arm. He smiles at me, quickly, but I don’t feel him relax for a few more minutes.

We’re here. All of us that can be. Something in me, tightly coiled, loosens a bit. I tug on AJ, lightly, and he lies down. I rest my forehead on his back, between the planes of his shoulderblades. I won’t be able to fix him, I know that. But I like to think this helps.

I feel your fingers on my toes, and I kick a bit, annoyed. You chuckle, and I can practically hear Howie roll his eyes. You make your way up, burrowing between me and Howie, and I hear Howie protest as you wrap an arm around him.

It’s quiet, finally. After a while, I hear Howie’s soft snores. Your back is against mine, solid and warm. I lift my head a little, and press a kiss at the base of AJ’s neck. I think, reluctantly, that to say goodbye would take more strength than I have. I wonder if I can forgive that. I wonder why I thought I was different than you.

When I sleep, finally, I dream of my cousin.

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 05:35:48 GMT

This is kind of absurd. It's been over two years and I've finished five ff100 entries, the latest of which was excruciatingly lame.

TWO YEARS. If I'd done an entry a week, I'd be done.

Anyway. This is a note to say I haven't yet forgotten. It'll be done. Even if the rest of the entries are 100 word drabbles, I WILL SO FINISH.

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:12:46 GMT

Pairing: Howie Dorough and Brian Littrell
Word Count: 1987
Rating: PG, for swears
Author's Notes: A birthday fic written for bubbleforest. Apologies for Nick, who's pretty OOC²--out of character and out of control. Best I can figure, he's half canon!AJ and half fanon!Malfoy, poor guy. Unbetaed.

"Oh, Nick, definitely. Nick's the smelliest." Howie paused, and quickly added "I, on the other hand, smell like roses." It came out rushed. Brian shot him a grin, and Howie smiled back, because, well. Brian had smiled at him. He knew it had probably been a supportive smile, a don't-feel-bad-you-didn't-really-embarass-yourself kind of smile that one gave people who'd just done something awkward. He sighed, inwardly, and looked back at the interviewer.

"So I notice that Kevin's not here..."

*

Howie frowned absently--he'd have to iron the blue shirt, he thought, if he was going to wear that tonight. He was fingering the fabric when there was a knock on the door.

"AJ, hey."

"Hey man! When are we headed out again?" AJ seemed agitated.

"Uh, I thought, like twelve?" Howie answered.

"Cool, cool. This the place your friend owns?"

"No, that'll be New York. She told me about this one, though."

"That's cool." AJ shifted on his feet, and, as the silence stretched, began to fidget with the edge of his shirt.

"AJ." Howie said.

"What?"

"What do you want?"

"Nothing, man. Just company. 'M bored." AJ picked at a hangnail.

"That's why we're going out later. Go rip your vest or something, stop bothering me."

AJ gave him a wounded look over the top of his glasses. "You cut me, man. I just wanted to watch you gussy up, do your hair and shit."

"Living through me vicariously?"

AJ snorted. "Yeah, that's it." There was another knock on the door. AJ bounded over and opened up before Howie could say anything. "Nick. Hi."

"Hey, did I mi--" He cut himself short at a sharp look from AJ. "Howie! What's up man? Oh god, not that shirt again."

"What's wrong with this shirt?" That was his favorite shirt.

"Nothing, I'm just fucking tired of it. How about..." Nick paused. "Let me check what you have." He came over and began to dig through Howie's suitcase.

"Nick! What the fuck. Fold that shit again when you're done rampaging."

AJ laughed at that. "Good luck with that, D."

Nick threw a balled up pair boxers at him.

Howie yelped. "Nick! Those were my last clean pair!"

"Don't worry, they just hit AJ--oh, that is a problem, I guess." Nick giggled.

AJ came over to put Nick in a headlock. They tussled briefly, and broke apart in a panic when there was a knock on the door. Nick rushed to the door. "Brian! What's up?"

"Nothing, man. You texted?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah! You should come out with us tonight."

"I should...uh, no thanks, Nick." Brian looked at him oddly. Howie did too--it had been years since anyone had tried drawing Brian out on the club scene.

"Come on. Please? It'll be like old times, except Kevin's left out instead of me. You guys always left me languishing all alone at the hotel, dude, you have to make it up to me eventually."

Brian looked at him, smiling and forehead wrinkled in disbelief. "Try harder."

Nick pouted at him. Brian pretended to swoon, before straightening and shaking his head no, laughing.

Nick rolled his eyes. "I'll ask you again later." He turned to Howie. "Howie! I know what I want you to wear."

Howie sighed. "What, Nick?" as Nick swung an arm around Brian's shoulders and stuck his other hand in Brian's back pocket.

Brian startled. "Hello! And how are you, Carter?"

"Very well, thanks," Nick grinned, "I just needed to borrow this," he flashed Brian's keycard, kissed Brian noisily on the cheek, and was out the door.

"I worry about that kid sometimes," AJ muttered. Howie and Brian murmured their agreement.

Howie wondered if Nick would return with something ridiculous, like, oh god, who knew. A sequined thong? Except Howie didn't know why Brian would own one of those. And he really wished he hadn't thought of Brian owning a sequined thong, because that sort of lead to why he might own one which lead to other thoughts and sometimes Howie wasn't very smart about his thought processes.

Nick was back in under a minute, proudly presenting his spoils. Not a thong. Howie was relieved. "Wear this. It'll be awesome."

Howie eyed the cable knit sweater. "No."

"No? Why not? You have to, come on."

"I don't 'have to' anything. And no. It'll be too hot."

"Oh, come on. Please. Just try it on. You never wear white, it'll look amazing."

Howie looked at him weirdly, "I thought you were joking about being the group's stylist. No."

"Howie, come on, please? AJ, back me up."

"Oh my god, D, just try it on so he'll shut the hell up."

Howie sighed and took the sweater. "You're a brat, Nick, you know that?" He stripped off his shirt as he walked toward the mirror and pulled on the sweater. AJ whistled. Nick and Brian oohed their approval. Howie looked at himself. Not...bad, actually. Maybe Nick knew what he was talking about. "Brian, where did you get this?"

"I don't know." He came up to Howie. "Let me check the tag--" His fingers slid under the edge of the collar, and they were very warm. Howie tried to hold back a shiver, not very well. Brian giggled. "What was that?"

"I'm ticklish," Howie mumbled. Brian was smiling at him, and this close Howie could see the creases fanning out from the corners of his eyes.

"Is that so? Anyway, it's Armani. You can keep it, if you like. You look better wearing it than I ever did."

Howie blushed. "Uh, thanks. I don't think I could take it, though."

"Well, let me know after you spend a night in it. It's comfortable."

"I--uh, sure. Thanks. I need pants," he said abruptly. Howie walked towards his now chaotic suitcase. Sometimes Brian's eyes were too blue. Or he looked at you too hard. Or something. Howie dug through the sad remains of his once neatly ordered posessions.

"Yo, Brian," Nick said.

"Yo, Nick."

"You coming out with us tonight?" AJ asked.

"What, you guys tag-teaming me now?" Brian cocked an eyebrow.

"No," said Nick.

"Yes," said AJ.

Nick looked at AJ. "Blabbermouth. This is why me and Brian never included you in pranks."

"Sorry, man."

"Pranks?" Brian asked.

"No, Brian. We're not doing anything," Nick said earnestly. "AJ's too dumb," he added with irritation. "Our Frick and Frack glory will never be challenged."

"You're using your lying face." Brian stared at him.

"Am not!"

"You used it then too!"

"The fuck I was. Whatever, are you coming?"

"Shit, yes. You knew I would." Brian scowled. Nick beamed.

*

Brian was not having fun. Howie frowned at his beer. He wondered, yet again, why AJ and Nick had been so eager to get Brian out of his hotel room and away from his ESPN, just to leave him sitting in a booth and watching the two nearly thirty year old frat boys mack on chicks.

Brian swirled what was left in his beer and drained the bottle. Howie watched his adam's apple bob. Brian set the bottle down and looked out at the dancing masses.

"So," Howie started awkwardly, speakingly loudly to be heard over the music. "Uh, I think that chick flashed you on purpose."

Brian stopped scanning the crowd and smiled at Howie. "Oh, you know it. I was like," he mimicked his jaw dropping to his knees. He grinned, "I should've offered to sign them."

"Would've made her night."

Brian laughed.

This was good. This wasn't so bad. "I'll get us the next round." Howie began to rise.

"You don't have to." Brian placed his hand on Howie's.

"Well, you got the last--"

"No, I think I've had enough. It's hot in--it's getting hot in herre," he sang at Howie, "so take of all your clothes--sorry. Anyway." He grinned. "It's hot. I think I wanna step outside. Come with?" There was an odd hesitancy in that last question.

"Sure," Howie pulled at the neck of his--Brian's shirt. "I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off."

*

It was quiet out on the balcony. The two patrons there already were smoking and flirting gently, curls of smoke blowing out their pursed lips and mingling in the close proximity. The guy looked up as the door opened, and, seeing who the company was, drew one long last pull from his cigarette before putting it out and taking the girl's hand. He muttered something, and the girl put out her cigarette before throwing Howie and Brian a quick curious glance as she and her friend left.

Howie looked at Brian and arched an eyebrow, "That was interesting."

Brian was looking at the door with a small frown on his face. "No kidding. Didn't realize we were that infamous."

"I don't think--Maybe they just wanted to be alone?"

"I guess. It's all good--now we get to be alone!" Brian batted his eyes, and Howie smiled nervously, before looking away, to the skyline. Brian walked over to the rail and leaned on it, looking at the city.

The air was chilly, pleasant after the heat of the club, and Howie could feel the sweat cooling on his lip. He walked over and leaned on the rail beside Brian. Brian shifted, and their elbows touched. The bass line still thumped behind them, but the crowd was worlds away and everything felt different. Smaller. More managable.

"This is nice." Brian said.

"Yeah," Howie agreed. "I'm glad you came."

"Me too." Brian said. He turned to look at Howie. "I'm glad you wore my sweater."

Howie laughed. "I'm not! This thing is fucking scorching. I shouldn't have listened to Nick."

"No, you should've." Brian touched Howie's shoulder. "It's a good color on you. You should wear it more often."

"Thanks," Howie fought the urge to squirm. Brian was looking at him intently, absently fingering the cabling on the sleeve. Brian moved in closer. Howie was almost afraid to think it--

"Can I kiss you?"

Howie swallowed reflexively. Yes. "What about--"

"Three strikes," Brian said softly. "I'm allowed that many." He took a breath. "Be my first?"

Howie swallowed again. Bit his lip. Nodded.

Brian rested his hand on Howie's jaw, blessedly cool against the warmth of Howie's blush, and tilted his head up. There was a soft meeting of lips, and gently, so gently, the slide of tongue. It felt so good, Howie held back a moan. He opened up a bit more and tentively licked. He could taste the salt from Brian's sweat, and, god, this wasn't enough. He pushed his way past Brian's tongue, sweeping across Brian's bottom lip with his, licking the roof of Brian's mouth. Brian let him, before regaining control, and then pulling away.

"You taste so good." Brian sounded in awe. "AJ was right, I was an idiot for waiting so long."

"You--what? What about AJ?" Howie wondered if he'd just done something stupid.

"Nothing. Nothing, don't worry about it! I told him I had a crush on you. And he told me to do something about it. And I didn't."

"Well, you did."

"Okay, I did. But not without some prodding." He looked abashed. "I might have to send Nick a thank you card."

Howie laughed. He took Brian's hand. "I'm ready to get out of here."

"Oh, me too." Brian squeezed the tangle of fingers, and headed to the door. He bumped into it as he tried to walk through while turning the knob. He rattled the handle, and stood there a moment. "Dammit." He turned to Howie and pulled out his phone, "I take it back, no thank you card. He fucking locked us out here." He hit speed dial. "Nick! It's chilly out here, you prick."

Howie squeezed his hand. "I can lend you a sweater."

5/100

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 03:06:23 GMT

Title: Bones
Fandom: Backstreet Boys
Characters: Nick Carter and Brian Littrell
Prompt: 041 Shapes
Word Count: 131
Rating: G
Author's Notes: As you can see, barely not a drabble. But I said I would finish, and so I will. Eventually. Perhaps in 30 years.

Brian was an exaggeration. From his too small eyes and his too thin lips to his broad cheekbones and ridiculous nostrils, he was understated and amplified in all the wrong ways. People saw him and couldn't stop looking. Nick couldn't stop looking. The skin stretched across those shameless bones, smooth, unblemished, outlining the jut of that cheekbone and curve of jaw, and Nick was convinced he would recognise Brian even if there was nothing but a skull left, those lines were so distinctive.

Nick's fingers, when it was late and he was too sober, when the sun and last few years were almost forgotten, would tap on dressers, moving, restless and doing nothing.

There was no reason for him to put the elfin point of those ears on paper. No reason.

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 20:19:21 GMT

I'm IN LOVE with my new layout. I can't believe everyone keeps babbling about flexible squares and opal when THIS BEAUTY was wandering around with no one to love it!

con: The unbelievable girliness of my color scheme is slightly off-putting when I catch it in the wrong mood. But if I'm in the wrong mood often enough I'll just change it.

BUT OH SO PRETTY. ::molests its boringness::

4/100

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 05:58:30 GMT

Title: Like I Love You
Fandom: Backstreet Boys
Characters: Nick Carter and Brian Littrell
Prompt: 022 Enemies
Word Count: 789
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: No connection at all to the Timberlake song, and GOD I HATE MYSELF FOR STOPPING WHERE I DID. I don't wanna know how much you're gonna hate me. I'm sorry. For fanfic100.

eta: okay, I couldn't stand where I left it at, so have some extra. Can you tell where the piecing in starts?

"Brian," Nick said softly, then again a little louder. "Brian. You asleep, man?"

Brian blinked groggily, slightly lifting his head from the couch. He sighed. "You know I was, Nick. What do you want?"

"Nothing."

Brian shifted to his side and blinked some more. Typical Nick response. Brian pushed himself up, and moved over to give Nick room to sit. "What's up?"

"I pissed off AJ."

"I knew there was a reason you were visiting the old man bus."

"Shut up, you know it's not like that." Nick looked bashful.

Brian looked at him appraisingly. "Mmhmm. What's Howie doing?"

"I pissed him off, too."

Brian sighed again, "Nick."

"Come on, dawg, he was talking to some real estate guy, you know how he gets, all serious and nodding his head and shit. I just dried my hands on his shirt, he's totally used to that by now."

"Which is why you're avoiding him and bugging me?" Brian looked at Nick, amused.

Nick sat down next to Brian and grinned. "S'not my fault he's got an old man sense of humor. And that fucking Puerto Rican temper." He paused and cocked his head thoughtfully. "Or Irish. I never can tell which one he uses on me."

"Probably both. You deserve it."

"I do not!"

"You're worse than Baylee at listening to your elders, man, don't think I don't know you."

"What you saying, man, you yell at Baylee?"

Brian looked startled. "What? No." He frowned at Nick. "Watch it, bud, you're gonna piss me off too, and then you'll be left with Kevin."

"Gah," Nick jumped up on the couch in mock fright. Brian looked up at Nick with a grin, then reached over and tickled the back of Nick's right knee. Nick shrieked and collapsed neatly on top of Brian.

"Ooomph," Brian grunted.

"Whatchu sayin'?" Nick cupped an ear. "I can't quite make that out. 'Nick, I love you and would never leave you at the mercy of my cousin'? Aight, dawg, that's cool with me."

Brian pinched him. Nick yelped, and rearranged himself to better pin Brian's arms. He came face to face with Brian, and took a moment to gleefully blow hot air in Brian's face. Brian grimaced. "I hate you."

"Like I love you?"

"Oh, god, I hope not, or we'd be pretty x-rated right now."

Nick's eyes lit up. "No," he said in delight at the opening.

"Oh god," Brian groaned.

Nick was grinning so hard he had trouble bending forward far enough to just touch the tip of Brian's nose with his. "Do you hate me this much?"

"More than that," Brian said honestly.

Nick came in close, hovering a moment before he leaned in and pecked Brian on the lips. "This much?"

"A bit more." Brian was smiling.

"How 'bout this much?" Nick said lowly as he softly nuzzled Brian's throat.

"I don't know," Brian said hoarsely, arching his neck.

"What about this?" Nick said, gently kissing Brian open mouthed, nudging at the closed lips slightly with a hesitant tongue.

He moved back at the immediate opening warmth. "More," Brian breathed, his eyes tracking Nick's lips. Nick licked his lips reflexively, and Brian looked to Nick's eyes. A moment passed. "Please."

With startling quickness, Brian pushed himself upright, and Nick crashed into him, clumsily tugging Brian's sweatshirt off over his head and leaning in to meet his mouth again. Their noses bumped awkwardly. Brian clutched Nick's t-shirt loosely, distracted by his mouth. They slowed down momentarily, searching for a more comfortable angle, and Brian moved back to undress Nick. With a near undetectable split-second of hesitation, Nick allowed him. Brian shot him a feral smile. Nick bared his teeth back in response and shoved Brian down into the couch again, pushing into Brian's open mouth, teeth clicking sharply. Brian pushed back, fighting into Nick's mouth, tasting the acid sweetness of Nick's Coke. His hand fumbled at Nick's fly, searching---

"Oh my God."

Brian and Nick flew apart, flushed and panicked. Brian looked at Kevin in despair while Nick retrieved his shirt and glared.

"No, you guys do not get to look at me like that. I thought you two had quit this thing years ago!" He looked at them frowning. Nick wiped away some spit from his upper lip.

"We had," Brian mumbled.

"It was Brian's fault."

"What?" Brian turned to face Nick. "You're the one who woke me up!"

"Oh, and was I the one asking for it?"

"I seem to recall you starting the full-body contact."

"I recall you bringing up the X-rated idea."

"So your tongue just magically found its way into my mouth?"

Nick paused. "I hate you." He grimaced.

"Like I love you?" Brian grimaced back.

Nick glared.

3/100

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 05:51:26 GMT

Title: Up Close And Personal
Fandom: Backstreet Boys
Characters: Nick Carter and Brian Littrell
Prompt: 082. If
Word Count: 512
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: for fanfic100. FLUFF of such extreme fluffiness. Good god, I've never seen anything so downy in my life. Also, I am le crap. Started writing at 11 pm, finished at 12.41am. It's still Brian/Nick day on the West Coast! And, let us not forget, thank you kikiduck for your awesome thesaurus reinactment.

Nick grinned and crowded Brian up against the wall. "What's up, dude? Leighanne put out last night? You were awful happy today." His breath was warm in Brian's face.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Brian smiled back. He tiptoed and kissed the end of Nick's nose, "Go on, change your socks before you get on stage, Nick."

"Yeah, man!" AJ said from across the room, "Hard to concentrate on singing with your toe jam stinking up the place." AJ grimaced as he spoke, and Kevin laughed and hugged him momentarily while passing from the coat hangers to the mirror.

"I do not stink!" Nick paused, "And anyway, you should be used to it by now." He braced his arm up on the wall, leaning in. "See, look, Brian hasn't fainted and I haven't even put my deoderant on yet!"

Brian laughed, and set his hands on Nick's waist, "Nick, just 'cause we've built up a tolerance doesn't mean you stink any less."

Nick pouted for a moment, then yelped. "Ow, Howard, what the hell?"

"Nicky was pouting," Howie told Brian.

"You didn't have to pinch me, you jackass!"

"Actually, just now I think it was your ass." Howie looked pleased with himself.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot, it was your thigh getting all the loving today." Nick scowled and turned back to Brian. "I suppose that's why Howie's feeling all large and in charge." He wrinkled his nose in distaste. "First time for everything."

Howie smacked the side of Nick's head and went to the mirror to try and fix his hair in the reflection not filled by Kevin.

"Yeah," Nick lowered his voice and leaned in, his cheek brushing Brian's stubble, "so, should I be jealous?"

Brian fought a smile. Nick was so cute, sometimes. "I don't know, should you?"

"Well, you been all kissy-kissy with AJ---"

"Because he loves me!" AJ interjected, "Fuck off, Nick, I haven't even got to second base, yet."

Nick went on determinedly, "and humping Howie, so I don't know. Been waiting for you to get to Kevin, actually."

"Been keeping track of my girls on the side, have you?" Howie turned and shot Brian a dirty look. "Don't worry." He turned his head and softly kissed Nick's cheek. "No matter how many times I engage in conjugal relations, or secret cousinly incest appointments," at this he had to stop and laugh, because Kevin had turned and given him a look of horror even he hadn't expected. Nick turned towards Kevin, and giggled as well. Brian looked back at Nick, now facing the smooth length of his neck, "or if AJ ever hits a home run, or if Howie ever lets me past his upper thigh, no matter any of that, no matter what, you'll always," and at this point his raised his hand from Nick's waist to trace Nick's jaw, and push Nick to looking into Brian's eyes. "You'll always be my first."

"Awwww," said AJ.

"Oh my god," Nick giggled hysterically, and, Brian was pleased to note, blushing a little, "you made Kevin cry!"

Sat, 05 Nov 2005 22:56:17 GMT

I've got a problem. I'm writing slash, but in my head, I genuinely believe the backstreet boys are straight. I thought this would be something I could get over. At this moment in time this is not the case. Oy vey.

Also, my cramps suck.

...yeah, I'm just whining.

2/100

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 02:56:23 GMT

Title: Untitled
Fandom: Backstreet Boys
Pairing, etc: Nick Carter and Brian Littrell
Prompt: 038 Touch
Word Count: 451
Rating: PG for swearing.
Author's Notes: For fanfic100. Rest found at the end.

Nick was cold. Nick was fucking freezing. Probably, he thought numbly, because all the blood in his body had rushed to his heart in a vain attempt to distract it; overload the useless thing, so it wouldn't absorb what it had just seen and pop in dismay. He wondered if his lips were turning blue. He turned his back to the soundcheck crowd and fiddled with his guitar strings. The stupid instrument didn't sound right. Maybe he'd smash it onstage tonight. Make the girls scream.

He tightened a tuner and imagined his heart icing over. Saw the hot blood pumping through it and coming out crystalline. Flowing to his fingers and toes and kneecaps and Iliac crest (he only knew the word 'cause of Kim Stewart) and cock and balls and the little hollow between his collar bones until he was just some giant ice sculpture. One that wouldn't ever melt, because it had a refrigerating unit in its chest. Screw being a ninja, shit, he should've made his comic book character some Iceman ripoff.

He faced the crowd again and experimentally strummed. Saw Brian cringe and felt viciously glad. Saw Brian ham up the out of tune chord for the fans and wondered how a man so aware of the watching eyes didn't realize those eyes saw everything; like the way that same man might tenderly cup another grown man's face and lean in and breathe, so gently, some secret in the tender pink shell of an ear.

Maybe there had been no secret at all. Because what could anyone say that would leave a smile so soft, so self conscious, on AJ's face? Nick hurt, and he didn't know what was happening to his heart. Clearly he was still alive, so the piece of shit wasn't torn apart. Contracting, maybe, from the cold? The sub-zero temperatures would make it shrink 'til it was two sizes too small and poof! A new Grinch!

Brian had used to touch him like that. Used to touch only him like that. They might have been busy waiting for something or another, and Nick might have been drifting between wake and sleep on the couch, and then Brian would trace Nick's eyebrows with a lazy thumb, or absently play with Nick's hand, or run his fingers through Nick's hair. There had been so much touching and it had all been...

and then Nick didn't know what had happened, and here they were, with Brian macking on AJ in front of a crowd of girls that tried to memorize their every move. At least, when it was Nick that Brian had been all over, at least then Brian had the sense to keep it private.

Author's Notes: This doesn't feel done to me, so. Uh. Hopefully it isn't? Also, wasn't supposed to feel exactly the same as 1/100. Maybe I'm a one-trick pony.

1/100

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 07:16:31 GMT

Title: Big
Fandom: Backstreet Boys
Pairing, etc: Nick Carter and Brian Littrell
Prompt: 048 Diamond
Word Count: 320
Rating: PG for a swear
Author's Notes: for fanfic100. And hey, rock on! First BSB fic posted there! w00t!

It was so big.

He was happy for them, of course. He couldn't not be, could he? His best friend had found someone beautiful and funny and, and genuine. Right? She was for real. She wouldn't sell Brian out for some lame book deal, some dumb movie role. Right?

Of course not, they were getting married. Nick mentally rolled his eyes at himself. And even if, by some bizarre chain of occurances, they broke up before, or divorced after, she wouldn't betray Brian like that. She was no Samantha. Of course not.

It would sit and blink on her finger, catching the light and throwing it back in Nick's eyes, and sometimes he couldn't look at it. Because of the glare, of course. It was pretty big, after all.

He wondered what it felt like to have it on. It was just a glorified shackle anyway, or at least the promise of one. Why'd anyone want to be stuck with something like that? Pretty stupid, if you asked him. Ball and chain, man, ball and chain. Brian was crazy. Leighanne too.

The thing is, he'd been there first. Shouldn't that count for something? Not that, like, he wanted Brian to marry him or anything. But marriage was pretty big. Like, maybe bigger than the Backstreet Boys. And was that even right? Should any of the fellas be allowed anything like that? It was the Backstreet Boys, and though Leighanne had never known Brian as anything but, sometimes it seemed to Nick that she didn't know what being a Backstreet Boy meant. Or maybe she knew too well. Maybe that was a problem. The problem.

She didn't fiddle with it very much. He couldn't figure out how she resisted playing with it. Her finger must've felt weird, but she just continued on like nothing was there. Like it was always there. He didn't get how she could ignore it. It was so goddamned big.

Fri, 07 Oct 2005 17:48:26 GMT

A hundred of Brian and Nick. It can be done.

001. Beginnings.	002. Middles.	003. Ends.	004. Insides.	005. Outsides.
006. Hours.	007. Days.	008. Weeks.	009. Months.	010. Years.
011. Red.	012. Orange.	013. Yellow.	014. Green.	015. Blue.
016. Purple.	017. Brown.	018. Black.	019. White.	020. Colourless.
021. Friends.	022. Enemies	023. Lovers.	024. Family.	025. Strangers.
026. Teammates.	027. Parents.	028. Children.	029. Birth.	030. Death.
031. Sunrise.	032. Sunset.	033. Too Much.	034. Not Enough.	035. Sixth Sense.
036. Smell.	037. Sound.	038. Touch	039. Taste.	040. Sight.
041. Shapes.	042. Triangle.	043. Square.	044. Circle.	045. Moon.
046. Star.	047. Heart.	048. Diamond	049. Club.	050. Spade.
051. Water.	052. Fire.	053. Earth.	054. Air.	055. Spirit.
056. Breakfast.	057. Lunch.	058. Dinner.	059. Food.	060. Drink.
061. Winter.	062. Spring.	063. Summer.	064. Fall.	065. Passing.
066. Rain.	067. Snow.	068. Lightening.	069. Thunder.	070. Storm.
071. Broken.	072. Fixed.	073. Light.	074. Dark.	075. Shade.
076. Who?	077. What?	078. Where?	079. When?	080. Why?
081. How?	082. If	083. And.	084. He.	085. She.
086. Choices.	087. Life.	088. School.	089. Work.	090. Home.
091. Birthday.	092. Christmas.	093. Thanksgiving.	094. Independence.	095. New Year.
096. Writer‘s Choice.	097. Writer‘s Choice.	098. Writer‘s Choice.	099. Writer‘s Choice.	100. Writer‘s Choice.

fanfic100